Are you afraid of sleeping? I ask as why else would you smoke yourself into the night watching rubbish on Netflix just to pass the time, only to avoid the day time and light. You should be eating good food, but the only thing you have available at 5am is usually McDonalds or some other greasy substitute. I’d like to think there’s another reason why you delay the inevitable or choose to slump to this from time to time. It’s weird so many other people who just constantly live in this world 24/7 and have done for so many years.
What’s really going on?
The weed has got a hold of you, it’s that simple. It’s unfortunate, for people around you can see you digress into something that you once probably were, a lost straggler, pretending to hold it all together. I’d like to believe there’s a reason why you go from being so powerful, in control, running a tight ship with lots of people, to completely losing it! Not caring about yourself but more dreaming about the world, and you know you are! It’s depressing and okay it’s probably only been here for a week but boy it feels fucking longer than that for you’ve been here before, but imprisoned for much longer with no sentence or crime just nothing. The silence once made sense to you but now nothing does.
What people say you should do?
Clean the hELL UP! it’s that simple… People say Weed isn’t addictive and my infamous clash on twitter with @******** “boi weed ain’t addictive, you aints got no discipline fool” I tell that idiot he really doesn’t know what he’s talking about, fucking anything can be addictive, and for any reason. I could bust a “You aint got no discipline” easily on most likely many other areas of his life, but there’s me pretending I’m talking to an intelligent person. The problem with social media is you often do talk to some really interesting inspiring people, but then without warning or notice, Ged the farmer will wanna have his 10 cents, and really it’s money that should be rebated asap!
What you probably actually should do?
Look there’s reasons behind why we do everything, and most often these reasons are really simple. This matter should never be complicated, if anything just not thinking about it and making a firm decision, understanding why it is you do what you do and lets be honest, we all deep inside know why it is we do what we do. If somebody asks us about it, we’ll turn a 2 minute conversation into a half hour and longer if we want, just to avoid the embarrassment of how simple the answer to your HUGEEE PROBLEM is. Just Do It! Life is about making what you want for yourself, building a structure, living in it, working from it, being what you make yourself.
Why the Destructive Tendencies?
Another really simple answer : FEAR! We destroy ourselves so that we can’t fail and have other reasons to fault and YES HERE WE GO AGAIN , OVERRR COMPLICATE the problem. It’s the reason we hold onto HATE, we know it’s like keeping that knife still stabbed into your chest there, bleeding away but it’s that life, yes it might require something EXTREME and crazy to effect an emotional change, but sometimes it’s just for comfort, or more specially cos we can. Understanding your dark sides are very important, as you’ll only ever draw power from truly mastering yourself.
