The quantity of weed that goes into each spliff is almost as much a social decision as a personal one. Evidence of this is when you’ll get among your trusted smoking possie and roll a bad boy! Now if your bad boy spliff potency falls beneath the socially defined one expect it to do 50 laps of the German Nurnberg circuit! – i.e. that bad boy’s gonna go around and around being passed from person to person for NOBODY wants to smoke it!
THE DUDE WHO JUST PUTS IN TOO MUCH
Now most people will enjoy a good spliff with heap-fuls of great smelling ganja in it but then there are times when this is just inappropriate. ie. when you’ve haven’t got enough to roll LUXURIOUS FATTY BOOM BATTIES!! This could also happen when a group is
communally sharing the spoils, after one spliff has gone round…if a person then decided to use a large percentage of the remaining weed for a super size me joint …. effectively killing off the whole amount in under 2 spliffs – this is UNCOOL and will have you frowned upon. Pretty much a no-brainer you’d think! but when drug addiction / weed / mind altering substances get involved I don’t think there is such a thing as a no-brainer! So I recall a friend we’d call when our regular dealer/s would fall through. After driving down there, the dude would jump into the car, phone one of his BADMAN guys in the local area and we’d go get the stuff! Being an untried & untested source we’d pick up a nominal amount like a £10 bag if possible.. Everything would be fine regarding this arrangement, and we’d agree to having a spliff before parting ways!!! Sounds alright!! He’d then always insist to roll the spliff, again seemingly harmless….. harmless until he’d produce the spliff that is!! & fair enough the spliff he’d make would look magnificent, BIGGG PACKKKKED TO THE BRIM with WEED, but hold on.. HE didn’t just use over 70% of the already UNDER WEIGHTED £10 Bag in that spliff right? .. as he returns the depleted bag of weed you soon enough realise.. yes he has!
THE DUDE WITH THE STUPIDLY HIGH TOLERANCE
Another type of individual is the person who just doesn’t seem to get stoned given ANY AMOUNT OF WEED !!! In my experience having a session with this type of person can be fairly frustrating for an abnormal amount of weed is required to get them feeling anything. This type of person will often be predisposed to making 95% pure spliff and even the slightest sign of tobacco going into the spliff will be met with great resistance. Also note, that they’ll have that look of confusion thoroughly rehearsed when their all pure weed spliff doesn’t smoke properly and heavily side burns! DO however expect them to occasionally brag and pride themselves about having lungs of steel …. but truly there are only foolishly bragging that they’ll most likely contract lung cancer before you.
THE DUDE WHO ALWAYS PUTS IN TOO LITTLE – THE SPRINKLER!
You’ll know you’ve met A SPRINKLER while smoking with them, for on your initial drag of their spliff you’ll uninstinctively immediately remove the spliff from your mouth and double check that it’s not a tobacco rolly that you’re actually smoking! For the sprinkler only ever sprinkles a few thin layers of weed over the tobacco before wrapping that BAD BOY UP for dispatch! The Sprinkler is ultimately an economist and is a highly disciplined skilled budgeter and can make even small quantities of weed span over fairly long durations. They are restricted by there financial means to appease their habitual 24 /7 “wake and bake” smoking tendencies and therefore are forced to economise in order to make this possible. The major disadvantage sprinklers suffer are that they tend to be stoned rather than ever actually feeling stoned; a consequence of consistently rolling and smoking sprinkle spliffs opposed to periodic stronger spliffs. Smoking communally with a sprinkler can potentially be troublesome as they can forget that they are amongst others and can accidentally roll a sprinkled understrengthed spliff.
THE DUDE WHO MAKES THE TOP LOADED SPLIFF
TOPLOADING: A communal spliff with most of the marijuana packed tightly at the top, so the first person to smoke it (usually the one to roll it) gets a far bigger high than the others. – definition from urban dictionary.
Exactly that! – the toploaded spliff will have significantly more weed at the top (tip) of the spliff as to allow the person igniting it to get significantly more higher than anyone who will eventually smoke this spliff. With exception to when it’s the roller’s own personal weed being used in the spliff, if it’s communal weed, this tactic is disgraceful and is extremely shunned upon by the the majority of the weed smoking community. People whom mix the weed and tobacco before rolling the spliff lessen the chances of being accused in this way. Google references quote some people alternatively deal with this issue by electing the person to the immediate left or right to ignite the spliff. However it’s usually fairly easy to spot toploading tactics, for if the spliff roller suspeciously holds onto the spliff for a good couple of minutes before passing it on, and then quite clearly is stoned off their balls, however nobody else is even remotely as high…… YOU’VE BEEN TOP LOADED!!
THE DUDE WHO JUST CAN’T ROLL
Call them whatever you want, but some people just simple cannot roll a spliff! They are completely incapable of grasping the art of rolling a spliff…. judging the proportions of weed and tobacco, evenly distributing the mix to then finally attempting the dreaded rolling portion yielding disappointing results almost every time,… for the next MORE SEXUAL part is here…
THE SPLIFF LICKER!
I’m sorry I couldn’t resist!! ohh yeah it’s that time baby!! . oh yes..the intimate part is upon us… que the porno saxophones, here we go….LICK LICK LICK LICK!!! our roller / love maker spends about 2 /3 minutes just licking that MOTHERFUCKA!!! hmmm yeah ladies, that’s right!!! he does…and if you wanna piece of him, well??? WELL just smoke some the spliff he’s rolled for us, for it’s drenched in so much of his saliva, for it’s as equivalent as having a FULL BLOWN GAY, MAN on MAN TONGUING SNOG!!!!! As for the Sticky strip??? details such of this doesn’t concern him.! didn’t even see it… he JUST LICK LICK AND LICK!!! !!! God forbid our SPLIFF LICKERRR ever be given the task of licking an envelope…some serious hair-dryer action would definitely be called into action before it went anywhere near that letterbox!!
NOTE: TO YOU ALL SPLIFF LICKERS OUT THERE
If you subeqeuently start seeing identical clones of yourself walking around the street masquerading as YOU… Remember you’ve only yourself to blame for you’ve doused some many spliffs with your tongue swab samples, it was gonna happen sooner or later!!!
& THIS IS YOUR THEME TUNE – – Lollipop – – LIL WAYNE
Sounds like a football team, doesn’t it? Strangely however it isn’t far from it…. i.e.the fanzine aspect. If you were a huge Aston Villa FC fan and you travelled the world and met another individual equally as passionate for your football club as you, while talking about your team you’d immediately bond and build rapport around these foundations. (I’m a massive football fan so I’m compelled to use this analogy but it’s still true for any club, or supported follower fanbased organisation) The same is true for weed smokers, i.e. all people that smoke cannabis really have a mutual appreciation of a certain lifestyle that they’d had to have lived. I’m hesitating from saying all weed smokers get along, cos this clearly not true!! I’m shying away from making blanket statements, but generally however it is true most weed smokers, given a fair unbiased platform, will generally get on quite seamlessly, based on the premise that they have SHHMOKING WEED in common!
Equilibrium and balance is fundamental law to our universe, where there is one there is another, where there is matter there is dark matter, where there is negative there is positive, and so on etc. This law also applies very much so to smoking and the quitting of weed! i.e. in precisely the same way that smoking weed can unite groups of all diversities and backgrounds, quitting has the equal and opposite effect. It’s now been 33 days, and I regretfully say that since I went off the smoking grid I no longer am on their grid. Those individuals whom once I’d see more frequently than my own family members that I’d be living with now no trace…with some cases phone calls just not being returned for weeks, and still counting!! I mean how many unreturned miss calls does it take with good friends till it starts getting awkward? I don’t take it personally for I know who (or what) is at blame here – the cannabis.
Now this conversation happens, it does.. but the variations of the conversation all depend on who talking about it. For you’ll hear from almost everyone everywhere, unless you’re YOUNG and naive and it hasn’t quite yet dawned on you that most 24/7 regular weed smokers don’t really achieve much in life – quite simply cos they’re high and can’t be bothered to! Sorry guys, trust me I didn’t like hearing that either and rest assure I fought that argument like I was one of the Spartans from 300 till I realised I was deep denial!…I really hope and pray that one day you too come to this eye opening realisation, because it takes a really stupid person to actually believe that weed makes them cleverer!! or smoking dope is good for you!! yeap, well done!! 😀
“Hey you should really give that up, CAN’T YOU SEE what it’s doing to you?” at this point, you shuffle and avoid the conversation for you will lose – BADLY!! They’ve got you by the balls, and there isn’t a room for manoeuvring! My advice would be to RUN, and if that isn’t an option try and blank out their words with calming peaceful oceanic noises! This conversation every weed smoker out there has had to deal with at some point or another, and I’m sure there are numerous ways of seeing another day, smoking another spliff. To some this day marks a sign, almost a ritual that you can firmly announce yourself in the brotherhood of ADDICT congratulations you’ve done it!! However this day really marks the sign of disparity and distance that is now being created between you those that do smoke and those who don’t, & it’s a club that only club smokers are qualified to talk about else you’ll completely reject what they say.
“Dude, we should like really try quitting man.. just for little bit or something cos I can’t remember the last time I didn’t smoke a spliff!” .. “yeahhhhh” the other guy unconvincingly slurs out. Weed smokers will hear “the speech” internally from within their own circles and peers, and this conversation will usually be more detailed & truthful, and very closely resembles the honesty and frankness of those within weed quitting support groups! CATCH 22, the problem really is people have their internal natural callings to quit this addiction at different times! Now what this means is that only one out of the group of 5 weed smokers will want to quit at this particular time! Resulting in that isolated guy completely cracking, and caving in as nobody else has quit, and he knows a fat spliff is only a phone call away!! Additionally it’s interesting to note, when the person who’s caved in does re-join the collective, everybody will completely ignore the fact the previous day this fine gentlemen was exclaiming “That’s IT GUYS, i’m DONE, NOOO MORE WEED FOR ME!! HELL NO!!!! i can’t do this anymore!” This is quietly forgotten and not brought up in following conversations, almost as if it didn’t happen! as to why? well think of it like this… you never know when it’s your turn.
Now like myself I’m sure you’ve all smoked with different groups of people & so you’ll understand that there are many smoking norms, which are unspoken yet mutually understood by everybody. So you’ve gone four ways on some good shittttt, sounds alright!! … you all went down there and picked it up as a group, you had laughs, it was great for ultimately you knew inside you would be SMOKING some FIINNEE SHITTT later on…it was missions but you all did it..TOGETHER!!!! it was like an Indiana Jones style adventure, and you got the Jewels -HIGH 5 PEOPLE!!! —> FAST FORWARD… OKAY so you’re all smoking, but something just isn’t right…for the spliff doesn’t seem to have the same qualities of a boomerang, i.e. it’s just not coming back round!! SHAPAAAAZOOO you have 
“dude, hurry up with that spliff man!” there’s immediate relief among the group, phew somebody said it before I was gonna..the 
However this time they’ve improved upon there initially efforts and attempt to distract the group with a very animated story, worthy of a 20th Century Fox sponsorship engrossing the audience just enough to keep the crowd from noticing the spliff clock upon them! This doesn’t actually work either for the individual has forgotten that however great and wonderful their 20th Century Fox Production story about what happened the other day may be, … somebody is still next in line to smoke the weed that they’ve rightfully paid for….. Now don’t get me wrong spliff delaying tactics can indeed work, but ultimately the spliff hogger/bottlenecker won’t know when to stop, and will keep doing it, till it’s mind-numbingly obvious what they’re doing… STOP IT!! YOU look stupid man, can’t you see this? but does he really care?? ….probably not as lets not forget getting high is one of the best methods of ignoring denial!! and thus the pattern will repeat probably on another evening / another time … This type of behaviour is very worrying for the underlying reasons why a person would go to such extremes tends to point to massively increased dependencies on the drug, and really should be the green light sign to quit smoking for that individual for it’s making them act, and behaviour in an antisocial and openly transparent despicable way.
I remember when I was young, having my first experience of smoking weed it was fucking great!! I remember my friend and I doing a couple of lungs in some makeshift bottle-bag/bucket sawn off coke-bottle thing?? coughing our nuts off as we weren’t cigarette smokers..and then waiting for 20-30minutes we’d be pretty messed up, having tunnel vision, experiencing the rushes and joys of listening to music while high, and laughing our ASSES off! Good times, being happy and loving life – and weed was great man, it actually made us get HIGH! So surely that’s the definition of being “high”then, i.e. a drug that makes you happy… so HIGH meaning HAPPY makes sense grammatically!!
sense. He loaded it onto his iPhone 4 and started reading.. “Come BY my house… it should be come TO my house!”
Okay so it’s been 25 days now, and I know I know I probably shouldn’t be celebrating that I’m clear from danger just yet, but I have to say I do feel like I’ve broken some of the bad habits which is definitely a massive milestone for me!!! You gotta remember, i’ve tried soo many fucking times to quit and what usually happens is I stand there with my friends lamenting how weed has destroyed my life while actually smoking a packed spliff!!! At that point i decide and announce to my compadres that “guys, that’s it, this is gonna be my last spliff!, no more!” “I NEED THIS!!” I tell them, they quietly if more politely nod and agree thinking “yea sure, you’re gonna quit the same day I DO .. never!” grim? yeap, very … but that’s the thing about smoking weed habitually, it’s not exactly fun when you’re doing it everyday. It’s a mixture of a bad habit and a false sense of escapism in truth. The only time weed can be classified as escapism is when you go on holiday and smoke a spliff! or your first day in Amsterdam in your first coffee shop! – Then perhaps there’s an argument for that.
OK today was my friend’s girlfriend’s younger brother’s surprise birthday, phhhooo that was a mouthful. So we all went to their home and to be honest I didn’t really think about it before going as to many other things were on my mind at the time. Alright outside on their lovely balcony just chilling with some guys and everybody was smoking cigarettes and weed as you do .. Now one of the Birthday boys friends, from up north whom i didn’t know but had been talking to throughout the evening, just randomly passed me the spliff…
Eating when you are not hungry sounds about right?? When I read this description suddenly I laughed for not even GOD himself could speak words so true. Once upon a time, i was thin.. ok was never thin, but I certainly wasn’t a FAT ASS “ROBERT PAULSON” BITCH TITS MOFUCKA!! Ok i exagerate i aint got TITTIES just yet, but if i did it would be cos of the fucking weed! man i fucking love food as it isssss… now add the illogicalness of having the munchies and that’s some fUcKEdD UP COMBINATION!! Naturally everybody has a different reaction to the munchies, but in my personally experience the urban dictionary has it SPOT ON!!! So it’s like 11pm i’ve had dinner probably not even that long ago…so we pick up start getting high, and an hour later, somebody brings up foods? not even A THOUSAND WHORES OF BABYLON could detract or distract you from that BIG MAC!!! And the fuckas leave that shit open 24 hours a day, so they’ll get you.. you’ll fight it!! and ok you’ll win a few, but the house always wins!!! SEE WORDS OF A FATASS!!! I’m telling you i wouldn’t be surprised if those bastards were secretly underhandedly funding large cannabis drug cartels!!! lol
Again I make the disclaimer that this isn’t the case for all weed smokers, sure i’ve met many a dude or gyal who doesn’t feel like eating at all, they just don’t get the munchies, and fair play to them! <BASTARDS!!!> lol if that’s the case for you, i’m totally envious!!.cos personally the munchies have completely ruined me!! i was in good shape before i started caining 24/7, I used to work out, play football, squash!! no joke I was an active MOTHERFUCKA!!! but that green shit somehow manages to fuck it up… now i know it may seem like i’m blaming FAR to much on the weed, but if i got it into the STANDS of a court of LAW!! i’m pretty sure i’d be able to FUCK HIM UP!! on the grounds of .. YOU TOOK AWAY MY MOTIVATION AND SHAT ON IT – MOTHERFUCKA!!! lol hahah ok you may have started to realise that this is a sensitive topic for me!! 1-0 to the ganja, and that’s kinda one of the major reasons why i’ve quit smoking weed, cos it’s destroying my health!! 
NOw i’m not gay, but it’s like getting a 10” DILDO and fucking me up the ASS!!! i’m losing this one man!! enough ground to want to quit smoking weed yet?
So okay you’ve just picked up from your regular dealer, you examine how much you’ve got for the money as he hands it over.. “TRUST ME YEAH, it’s lykeee well good stuff yeah!!” He assures you almost justifing why it’s almost half the amount you should actually be getting. “cos it’s good stuff init!” I wanna beat these kinda guys up, GUYS? nah nah they’re all fucking kids. That’s like getting half an eaten pizza on your front door delivered from Pizza Hut…& the driver, still munching away, assuring you .. “nah nah, but yeah but it’s good tho… You’ll lyke it!”
you have the occasion where one of your close mates will decide to start dealing to everybody, this inevitably gets ugly as like friends do, “PAY YOU LATER” and ultimately defeats the entire purpose of the whole thing. It can work but more often than none doesn’t really work and most of the people end up in debt to that bloke hence they end up avoiding him i.e. failing out! Now this isn’t naturally always the case, a lot of people pay their way, but then a lot of people don’t also. The old attitude of what’s yours is mine kicks in specially when drugs are involved. Drugs fuck up people perceptions, it makes people do what they probably would never do in sober state.