WILL YOU GET MORE WORK DONE & PRODUCTIVE IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE T.H.C IN YOUR BLOOD STREAM?

I write this blog entry on a sunny beach in Tunisia! Ok so before we address these topics, lets recap. So after experimenting on whether it was possible to smoke occasionally, and ROYALLY FAILING!!! I went back to smoking weed regularly again, to then spacing it out once a week, which seemed alright but after rereading my entire blog I REALISED IT WAS TIME TO QUIT AGAIN!! & like that i did just that. The minute i finished rereading my last post, i decided that’s it.  So I honestly asked myself, why did I get more work done during the period of non highness.  Like i’d be there sitting at the laptop trying to get some work done, and it wasn’t happening?? i wasn’t high at the time, .. i was REALLY HIGH the night before, but i didn’t know what was stopping me from peaking??

SO I STARTED ASKING MY FRIENDS

“I get the same work done as when I’m high as when I’m not!” one of my friends angrily tried to unconvincely explain to me. As he spoke it was almost like his words were muffled and all i could hear was “FUCK YOU MAN, I NEED THIS SHIT OKAY!!!, JUST FUCK OFF WITH YOUR QUESTIONS AND SHIT, I NEED THIS SHIT ALRIGHT, YOU HAPPY NOW MOTHERFUCKA!!” So I had all these people telling me “this shit isn’t addictive it’s all in your head” , “..you weak son!” etc etc blah blah so how come when i talk to fellow weed smokers about quitting the ganj why does it bring out so much aggression resistance in people!  I tell everybody I fucking love weed, unfortunately the costs of regular smokers sometimes can out way the benefits!! i’m one of you!!! but somehow this message is lost, and the minute i even mention “hey don’t you think that’s happening cos of weed, maybe you should try cutting it for a while, see what happens?” immediately i’m dodging hundreds of punches coming my way!! even e honda would be proud!!

SO ASK THE CHEMIST?

The science suggests that i’m dodging punches unnecessarily, cos it’s not only fair to say but pretty much OBVIOUS a statement that shit is still gonna be in your blood well after your smoking up session.  Now the problem with me was, when I used to get high I’d get FUCKKKED!! as in that was the problem I was smoking so much I needed more to actually feel anything. So after a heavy ass session, i would be WASSSTED with loads of the shit running strong in my viens. Now when i would wake up i wouldn’t realise that i was still STONED, fair enough not as heavily as straight after taking the hit, but still high!! I mean sometimes i could still feel the same way when i get up the next day..I would put it down to just getting up the morning, until about midday and i’d still be feeling doped up, primarily cos i was just that, DOPED UP!! Now you don’t need a rocket scientist to tell you this, but for some reason i’m dodging FLOYD MAYWEATHER IF I BRING IT UP!!!

“Hey I know loads of successful potheads! Man I know loads of people that smoke weed that are doing really well for themselves!”

Listen folks nobody is saying that the morning after getting really high is the same as being in a coma, of course not!! But the effects of the weed will still be passing through your system and that’s when you’re most unaware of it the most.  I’ve now been clean for like 45 days, almost totally the same number of days i managed last time and i gotta say it’s exactly like last time. I get loads of works done, I’m generally more positive, a lot more accomplished! Yeah sure I miss getting high, but overall it’s better for me this way i’m more successful this way.  However I miss out on that small pleasure maybe it’s not too late… maybe the art of moderation is something i can learn slowly in time, given that I change a lot of thing.  So yeah for all you people smoking weed all the time and doing well for yourselves, you gotta get intouch me, i have questions to ask you!!

IT’S DAY 5 – BUT WHO’S COUNTING RIGHT?

One of my really good friends came over to chill a few hours ago and we’d initially said that we were gonna do something productive.  We specifically set out that smoking weed wasn’t on the menu as he’s also was on the path of trying to give up the ganga however when he arrived he was high! Now this shouldn’t have been a problem for me but it really was!! He didn’t make any of a deal that he was high – if anything it was hardly noticeable but I really found myself cracking!! The pressure in my head to go pickup some weed was ridiculous and I guess because I’ve hung out with him and got high SOOO MANY times my natural activity of choice was to get high! however I battled it out and managed not to crack that evening! While also both managed to write a hilarious song about FAT ASS BITCHES, which by reading you’d think that we were high, well he was! Anyway I really want to be able to change this but I guess it will happen over time the more we hang out and don’t resort to smoking dope.  When we were younger we never needed that shit to have a good time but slowly that shit integrated itself into our lives where we’d hang out purely to get high!  DOn’t get me wrong, hanging out and getting high is a fucking wonderful thing but questions gotta be asked it was almost the ONLY thing you can do.  To the point where people are massively less motivated to do any other activity – it’s all programming!! I wrote a blog post titled WEED SMOKERS ARE LIKE FREE MASONS, where I talked about how weed smokers only want to hang amongst themselves for only they, they ALONE understand what the deal is.  & I also briefly mentioned in the post below “PEOPLE AROUND ME” that smoking weed meant = access granted.  I’m starting to get a fuller picture of what needs to be done! more to come on this…

REPLACING ONE EVIL FOR ANOTHER

YES!!! I KNOW I KNOW!! it’s bad and really shouldn’t be done, but I’ve resorted to using cigarettes to control my withdrawal symptoms when they come! I have some of the most disgusting Bangladeshi branded cigarettes in my possession, and you gotta trust me on this THEY ARE DIGUSTING!! AS in when i smoke one of these cigarettes they completely put me of the idea of getting high! More specifically when I smoke one of these POWERFUL fags they actually remind me of that feeling I get when I’ve been smoking weed and am by myself.  i.e. the regret of smoking weed! I GOTTA SAY THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!!  & If I gotta be truthful about last time (during the 50 days) I actually did use this method of weening myself using rollies and cigarettes, and it did work!! however the disclaimer is, i’m not a cigarette smoker, infact I would go as far as saying I really can’t stand cigarettes at all, they make me feel slightly ill, so this method is perfect for me but I wouldn’t recommend this to a proper weed/cigarette smoker because it probably just wouldn’t work!

THEY WERE ALL SO HAPPY – WHAT HAPPENED?

So many ask me “Where have you been, I’ve been reading your BLOG!! Guess you didn’t quit then ay?” shortly followed by “D’ya wanna pick up?”  Other reasons for my disappearance is well I just haven’t found time to blog about this like I did last year.  I’ll square up with you however, I have been smoking weed in-between this massive gap of non blogging, and well I wouldn’t be lying if i said it feels like i’m starting from the beginning because it really does.  On my current form I need to buy HOWiDidn’Tquit.Com and start writing there.  Yeap  2012 certainly did bring change as unlike the final months of 2011 I started up smoking again! Ground HOG FUCKING DAY here we go!

TAKING ADVISE FROM THE WRONG PEOPLE

I warn you most things i’ll say in this blog will be pretty fucking obvious right up until the moment I explain it to you.  However not before then as the wood won’t be distinguishable from the trees, but try telling that to the I TOLD YOU SO crew.  meaning? I’ll get to that later.  Anyway…. Taking advise from the wrong people! So I talked about how I wanted to be able to smoke now and again, and people listened gave me their opinions! & for that I appreciate it much, however it never occurred to me at the time that only weed smokers would be reading this blog and only they would have an opinion based on experience. i.e. I never actually once spoke to a sober guy and exchanged views from somebody from the “OTHER SIDE”.  Resulting in, 99% shift towards the opinion that “yeah yeah, you should be able to be a normal weed smoker, once you’ve been a JUNKIE/ADDICT” Everybody was saying it, and the more I was hearing it, I was LOVING IT!! YEAHHH!!! YEAHHH!!! YEAHHH!!!  – TITTTIES!!! Sorry I had to break that yeah cycle!! This all seems like bullshit right now.

SUMMARY OF ALL SUMMARIES

Lemme recap for you all…. I quit smoking weed, started a blog, wrote about this shit… didn’t smoke for about 50 days till I got this DUmBa$$ idea that I should try a bit of weed and slowly program myself to be an occasionally smoker!! Now that ladies and gentlemen is pretty dumb!! I spent the morning reading this blog and i’ve relived this whole epic journey, and I feel however stupid breaking the quitting chain was, I gotta say it was people around me who’d built their hopes and dreams on me “QUITTING FOREVER!!” that shared a lot of the responsibility  of me going back. “Oh yeah yeah bLAME everybody else but yourself” <— absolutely not.I quit the smoking weed for myself as I MYSELF realised that I was smoking the shit too much! I did this whole process myself, however due to the public nature of the blog, people joined on and long before I knew it, I was doing it for other people.   I really don’t want to blame anybody else for my misfailings so i’ll say that even that was a learning curve and reading back has just been great!

AND PEOPLE AROUND ME ?

For a short while I stood for something and I felt it. Things I talked about were directly at the heart of how I felt about weed related stories.  Post blog people in my life had their comments, mostly positive however a few individuals thought I was writing about them and in doing so I actually exposed some TOPLOADERS which was quite hilarious! Alas it didn’t matter because as I rejoined the smoking world back came all my friends, back came all those good times that I was excluded from when I went tee total.  Sarcasm removed for a second, I must hand on heart admit. Weed takes more than it gives back and I know this before I say what I say… but getting high isn’t a bad thing! It really isn’t for the benefits if harnessed properly are powerful!! I called myself stupid before and damn right I am for opening my smoking account again, regardless though I cannot deny that while being high I came up with lots of alternative solutions to problems I didn’t have the foggiest about resolving. In the end that’s the ONLY really true positive I can get from the smoking weed, otherwise I feel smoking weed regularly takes more from your life than it gives back!

THE COMEDOWN OF WEED

Many you’ll speak to will say that there isn’t a comedown at all, many of these people being heroin addicts or Class A taking smack heads! FALSEHOOD: The comedown can often be very harsh being a very deeply physiological and extremely deceiving!! It’s not physical whatsoever and almost disguises itself into your normal daily emotions to a point where you can’t tell whether you’re actually down or the drug is inducing this feeling and thus the lines become blurry. Take a guess on how you can make it go away? YEAP!! SMOKE MOOO OF DAT SHHIIITTT!!!  So that brings us to where I am now… Somehow I really gotta see out the next 14 days, where I MUST NOT SMOKE!!  IF I CAN DO THAT, then I pretty much outta the woods…  FAILED MISERABLY SO FAR, LETS SEE If things get better.

IF you meet any Mayans along the way tell them to fuck off from me, as irrelevant as planet Nibiru passing by or smashing into the Earth may be to QUITTING WEED, it didn’t happen in 1995, or 2003 and hence I’m fairly sure based on their success rate that it wont be happening 21 December 2012.  Here let me make a prediction “Cheque Please!!!” moment in the making.  So yes from the title I’m sure you’ve noticed that it says day 5, yes everybody along with the whole world most probably making the same resolution I’ve started the quit again, but this time bigger & better with all the mistakes and errors learned from with a plan in the works encompassing.

CHANGE / DISCIPLINE

I’m sure like me you’re fed up & really quite bored of many things in your life, with some much feeling repetitive to point where you actually notice yourself repeating these days.  Isn’t it time for change? Like a new place to live, or a new image, introduce yourself to some new people, or quit smoking weed every day.  Now the biggest thing I learned in my 50 days was that once i had developed a sense of discipline, I was able to use that same discipline to lose weight and sort out loads of other issues in my life.

It took a couple of weeks to generate that sort of momentum and power but once I was in the zone, there really was no stopping me!

O.K. so I was doing well… I quit, I struggled for the first week, and then I got cocky and fucked it all up. YEAP ladies and gentlemen FUCKED IT UP, but not all in vain..ok so I told you about 22November Right i.e the post below yeah… well that was good it was fucking great, i actually really loved getting high it was “LIKE A VIRGIN, touched for the very first time…. LIKE A VIRRRGIN” and all that again, absofuckinglutely sooo where did it, or I go wrong.. well?

Is it possible to go back to be a casual smoker once you’ve been an addict?

Allow to me answer the question, I don’t fucking know?? lol okay more seriously, sure i tripped up after this, and when I say tripped up I mean head into a pile of DUNG!! I apologise if I sound annoyed for this slip up, but i really was onto something!! i can’t deny smoking weed does do something for me, it creates a different me, which if you minus the paranoia, is amazing!! however it’s just fucking annoying how after a proper session, you’ll want to smoke again the next day… HOLD ON.. that sounds a lot like an addiction? WELL ladies and gentlemen, it is… you’d be right there. I gotta say, I don’t hate Cannabis, I hate myself!! Cos that’s it really, i got cocky!! after not smoking weed for so long, and actually no longer craving for it, not only did I forget what it felt like to be stoned, but I also forgot what it felt like having cravings the next day, and I gave in to easily to that fucking annoying cat!!!  ARGHHH!! I just forgot, got cocky, just thought I was stronger than it, I WAS WRONG!!! As soon as that cat gets one over you, YOU’RE FUCKED!!! cos the minute you start breaking, that cat knows he’s fucking got you!! it’s like the fucking DEVIL!!! Sure life hands you bad cards sometimes and you’re having a bad week/month blah blah whatever, however that isn’t an excuse to drop your guard… and with my guard went some many other things????

SO WHAT HAPPENED?

Well after that initial session, I didn’t smoke for a week… didn’t think much of it… & then the following week, I had a session with an old friend we caught up it was great also, was well overdue he and I.. however.. the next day is when it began.  After a busy schedule, and hard in of work, we both decided we should treat ourself to some more weed, thus we proceeded and got some and “TREATED” ourselves. I’d caved, fallen over on a downhill slope, i didn’t realise how steep the hill was, but by the time I’d hit the bottom of the hill it was gonna hurt bad!! and indeed it did… OUCH! Oh yeah, i smoked again, and then again… & on realising I’d relapsed, i thought FUCK IT, lets smoke.. and que the good times.. JOKE!! far from it..

IT’S IN YOUR BLOOD!

Even in failure there is so much to learn from!!! This week of sin of getting blasted of my balls, just throwing away money killing my health..i realised that WEED WANTS MORE WEED!!! i.e. when you’re high, you still wanna be high?? why I dunno, it just feels nice i guess.. whatever.. so you go to sleep WANKERED!!! and wake up still stoned…. remember the weed bonds to the cells in your blood, and doesn’t clear up to 30-40 days (i.e. that’s how strong, and now long that shit lasts) the likelihood is you’re still gonna be high the next day!! That’s what happens… You wake up and you’re still stoned, but you just don’t really realise it.. a weed hangover is very different from a drinking one!! During the weedhangover the mistake, the big mistake is to listen to the annoying cat, give in and SMOKE THAT SHIIIIITTT again… cos once you do… you’re trapped again.. it’s almost like your words, discipline means nothing!

IN THOSE 5o DAYS

Those were the best days of my life… ok bit over the top… they were good.. i’ll summarise:

• I woke everyday bright eyed and bushy tailed
• I got SOO MUCH MORE work done
• I felt healthier, with more energy
• My lungs were double CAPACITY!
• My family & girlfriend really approved of me.
• I set a great example of a better life for those who were trapped just like me
• I was motivated more
• READ THE BEGINNING OF THE BLOG!

As this is experiment – hence the next section I’ve laid out like a science experiment!

INTRODUCTION

I aimed to discover if it’s possible to enjoy the calming relaxing properties & benefits of smoking weed on a seldom to rare occasionally process.  I will try & explore this topic fairly and with objectivity.  If I was to reflect what’s it’s like to smoke after 50 days then i’d have to have a proper session of getting high!! So yesterday this experiment began…

WHY DID YOU DO IT?

As I’ve written and explained before, going on a long hiatus of not smoking to then at some point to completely revert back to inverse i.e. smoking a lot is what i want to avoid like the plague!! it’s happened to me, so many times, and this time i’m determined once and for all to end this cycle. I learnt that after 50 days it’s enough time to actually forget what weed is like so this was a perfect time to time to execute this operation.

After being heavily chastised the previous night for ending my long spell for just a couple of toaks on a  crap spliff, it was clear that i’d learnt nothing!! I.e. I didn’t actually get high that night & I couldn’t extend to day 51, i,e. writing it off… resulting in DEAD ENd?  It was clear what I had to do…. So in an orderly organised manner I planned ….

METHOD – WHAT HAPPENED.

I went round to a friends house to have a session.  We had a couple of spliffs to start off with, which really had me rocking for I hadn’t smoked in a while my tolerance had become noticeably lowered.  Regardless we smoked more and more, and piled on through the night getting higher and higher!

WHAT WAS IT LIKE

PROs

OK, so what was it like? Well to be honest, it’s weird being stoned… It felt kinda homely, like i’d really missed this place, the peacefullness and the serenity of it all.  It was really good, I had a great time!!! I really did….. I got stoned off my face, and I was really HAPPY just like the old times!! My mind was free to roam and be silly or just zone out it was great, I had a great time chilling with the guys!! I totally had forgotten what it was like being high again, and it was nice, really nice, like I said before homely & soft.  The evening went so well, I had a GREAT TIME!! I missed this – I really did!!

When I got home I then started applying my mind to different problems that I’d been struggling with during the month. WTF!!! I was like that guy from LIMITLESS!! GOD SOLEMN TRUTH: I was coming with solutions left, right & centre!! WOW!! I was coming up so much stuff, it was amazing?? I had initially said that I could do this while sober. I claimed that I’d given credit to cannabis for this ability that I could naturally perform. This however could be true, but Weed did do something else to me!! The massive effect it has on my brain, i.e YOUR STONED!!! this just simply cannot be disregarded as denial!! using common sense alone it must be truth that in that state your brain is bound to come up with different things than it normally would do when sober.  Hence I conclude that smoking weed doesn’t enhance my ability to troubleshoot, rather it puts me in a different viewpoint and from there I see different solutions… More accurately I feel…

CONs

MUNCHES – Yeap that’s right, i eat shitloads of food with no remorse, and it didn’t make me feel full either.. it had nothing to do with feeling full!!! Food tastes good, EAT FOOD!! that’s it… vERY fucked!!! I just had no discipline on the stuff!! I’m on the atkin diet at the moment, and I can say firmly that it’s working!! i.e. My diet has changed, and I’m eating less carby foods and more protein & salads!! I’ve avoided sugar to the most of it, however…. yesterday I had chocolate, with absolute disregard of this diet!! it was terrible!! I slept at 4-5am in the morning and woke up at 1pm??? Bad memories of a weed hangovers happening all over again!! That’s the walk of depression….. I don’t want to go back there again..

WHAT DID YOU LEARN

I did really enjoy getting high with the boys, it was soo much fun!! Up until smoking the spliff,I was actually looking forward to it, and when we did, it was great!! i had a great evening!! lots of fun! I really enjoyed being high, and I can say this firmly now, I WAS “HIGH”! damn right!! HIGH AS fuck! Now… on the drive home, I couldn’t help but think this feels really nice, peaceful and calming, but what happened before?? By smoking all the time, I concluded that i’d trapped myself in that world of peacefulness, and calm where no work can actually be done, just thought about.  That’s why as great as that place i was in yesterday was… being trapped there was a nightmare that i didn’t want to go back to.

The weed hangover I had this morning, was terrible and  I had totally messed up my body clock rhythm, i mean waking up at 1pm??? WHAT THE HELL!! The munchies sucked real bad, and reminds me why i’m at this stupid weight.. It’s cos of the weed, nothing else.  Weed is great in moderation, the benefits of it can’t be found anywhere else… however the side effects of smoking are really dangerous!!!

CONCLUSION

I think I learnt a lot from yesterday, as i’d so many questions I wanted answers for….. throughout the evening I paid great attention to “how I felt” “how things were different”. I really want to continue the good work i’m doing now… I’ve had my fun, it’s time to store those good memories and smoke another place, and another time in the future…. but only when the time’s is right…

As I wrote in my previous article “WHEN YOU SAY YOU’RE FEELING “HIGH” – WHAT DOES THAT ACTUALLY MEAN?” that’s what I was talking about.  I wrote about missing that feeling of happiness when i got high! It’s simple and as I concluded something in excess is not fun anymore, and that’s that.   I wanted to experience what it felt like being high again, and what best at a party where there’s loads of people booze the rest!! Sadly I had a few tooks of a joint which is enough to qualify that my 50 day of abstinence was over, however at the end of the evening I was left feeling short changed for I had to bear the disappointment of some humming & tutting away for what a couple of drags of a joint?? that I didn’t even feel cos there wasn’t much there.. lose the title, get unfairly given grief for a anticlimax that didn’t deserve it.  NO! I started this journey to better understand what’s going on, i.e. not to quit a drug that I feel is the only substance out there that can really make me relax.note as much as yoga and meditation is viable options, I explored these much earlier in my life pre-smoking cannabis and found them to be nice but didn’t PHYSICALLY SLOW DOWN MY HEART RATE! I started blog & journey to better reveal and understand the process and then better fease a solution!! A solution where everybody wins, ultimately being the outcome where I smoke much much less and really cherish and enjoy the occasions when i do, and for the 90% Be FIT and HEALTHY!! sounds like a winner to me..

THOSE THAT TRY TO “HELP” by shouting at you.

I got shit for no reason, I can’t blame them for how they react at all, however… at fault or not, they’re having a negative effect on me, and unfortunately forcing me to lie….cos they’re getting involved, bossing their weight, emotionally guilt tripping me ultimately in an area they have no knowledge about.  This is causing problems for me, for their help despite them not realising this is antiproductive!!

I wish to be open about this whole process!!! man I setup a blog, where my thoughts about this topic are here for the world to see, I wish not to lie but to understand and win!! So for the betterment and peacefulness of everybody I’ve decided to no longer speak about this. If people ask me i’ll volunteer the information, i’ll answer the question to my best ability but if people are really interested in the proper answer it’s written here in TECHNO COLOUR explained with diagrams!!!  I don’t want to upset or annoy anybody to achieve this but I need do to succeed…

So we looked earlier at why being “high” didn’t necessarily mean being happy due to numerous factors such as bad weed but moreover over consumption!!  So retrospectively looking back over these last 41 or so days I’ve really appreciated being clean!! i feel so much better but I do miss smoking weed, for I liked in controlled moderation once upon a time I confess to enjoying the effects of the drug…. so I ask is it possible to go back to being a casual smoker once you’ve lived in the shoes of an addict? During writing this how i quit weed blog, I’ve spoken to many more people than I would have usually about kicking the habit and the same issue keeps popping up. i.e. is quitting permanently a feasible option?

GOING ROUND IN CIRCLES

I’ve been here before once quitting smoking weed going cold turkey for a year then again for 8 months, ultimately going from extreme to extreme. This behaviour isn’t healthy for my mind or body.  SO I ask is it possible to be like so many of those guys who come in one day for a smoke have a few drags have a great evening then don’t really care or go back to it?  I think that is what I must do!! I.e to train my mind and body to be a casual smoker not in anyway excessive, for if i’m being honest to myself I enjoy smoking weed but am aware of the difficult & harmful side effects it has on me.

IT’S TIME TO BREAK THE PATTERN!

This on / off strategy was never well thought out and was done more from anger then common sense, it’s just not been thought out properly!! Weed was fun once upon a time, when I used to get stoned every now and again… what’s happening now isn’t cool and I need to do something about it. Anyway I’m gonna have a couple of spliff and break the chain…I know I’ll be ruining my 41 or so days run but that’s not what this is about I remind myself this is about creating a new liftstyle for myself.